Much Ado About Jack

Coming back from a baltic run this morning i turned a corner and saw a woman lying prostrate on the freezing pavement in a foetal position, trembling. I ran up to her and asked if she was okay, but she proffered no reply whatsoever, not even making eye contact, and face down continued her morbid decline. I imagined she'd slipped but couldn't tell whether she was genuinely hurt or just being a total pussy. As i crouched down a little group started assembling around her, and before long fifteen of us were re-enacting that Just video by Radiohead.

I wish the whole scenario had ended like that, since five long cold minutes later she got up and drawing back her sleeve to reveal a tiny graze on her wrist, waddled off gingerly without a word. I picked up her earphones for her and everything. Maybe something that uneventful can send someone that monumentally pussy into shock, but i doubt it. The momentum of my run was ruined, my body started officially shutting down, and i was reminded how true to form, good old monday morning takes no prisoners.

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