Forgive Us Our Trespasses

In January i wrote a blogpost called Life Goes On, about the perils of caffeine and the effects it can have on your digestive system, particularly when you get caught short in Healthy Stuff, the neighbourhood's most friendly and unassuming cafe.

Something along the lines of...

Leaving the poor owners like..

I mean the whole episode was one enormous...

You can read about it here

They say the key thing after a shark attack is to get the hell back in the water asap. In lieu of exorcising my digestive demons, and with six months of water under the bridge and down the cistern, i recently revisited the scene of the crime. In fact i spent a happy few mornings in there chatting to the owner Ben, who seemed very cool. So I figured what the hell, and anonymously sent the link.

Which if you've taken a massive dump in someone's workplace, mere inches away from their face, strikes me as pretty freaking sweet behaviour. I should get in touch with those Collin's English Dictionary cats. I mean whatever the hell they have down as the definition of magnanimous, i've got a better one.

I went in there this morning, and Ben starts telling me about a blogpost he'd been sent by some guy who'd taken a du-..... etc etc. I gingerly raise my hand in admission of my crime, he cracks up, starts telling me how funny he thought it was, we shoot the breeze, then his finnish wife comes in and pointing at me, he's like... so THIS is the guy

At which point she cracks up, and the first thing she does?

Offers me a triple-shot cappuccino


Einstein said the definition of madness is to do the same thing over and over again while expecting a different outcome each time. So the moral of this story, is under no circumstances ever order a triple-shot cappuccino in a small neighbourhood coffee shop, but also remember that if you look hard enough, the world is full of very lovely and very forgiving people, who also happen to make fucking incredible smoothies.

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