Eat Shit Larusso

The Karate Kid was a major part of my life up until the age of 21, round about the time my VHS player bit the dust and I got a girlfriend. Back in the day my brother and I used to re-enact fight scenes to the death (or until tea time), slaps, roundhouse kicks, sitting-on-face shit, it was intense. One afternoon of watching the film is etched forever in the memory - it was the during the killer tournament finale - i looked over as my brother's expression fixed on the screen slowly turned all gnarled and crazylike, n without a word he bolted upstairs midway through the best bit, only to return in full-on judo kit (to look the part no doubt) whilst he proceeded to beat the living crap out of me. Good times. In our more evenly fought duels, I was always Larusso and he was the fat mutherfucker with the two second cameo on 1:33. The guy in the Cobrakai garb who looks like Andre the Giant's love child.

I'd like to think it was sessions like this that toughened me up to the harships of London street survival, but I wouldn't know because i've still never once been in a fight. Ever. But anyway who can touch the Karate Kid ending, with Larusso coming back from the dead to administer the crane manoeuvre straight on Johnny Lawrence's shnoz. Yipikaye. And when Miyagi gives that knowing nod at the end, as a kid you knew you wanted him to be your grandpa, not that mumbling dude in the armchair who scared the shit out of you and smelt freaky.

Elizabeth Shue has never looked so fine.