Beard And Wonderful

I'm trying to grow a beard because i want to feel like a real man.

The results thus far speak for themselves.

So it was in a Bearded State of Mind that i hit up college last week, and whilst the tutors threw highbrow lectures straight at the top of my dome, i was just sat there clocking extreme examples of face fuzz. Here are the prime cuts of what my fellow students had to offer.

I'm happy to say no ladies made the shortlist.


Tomasz has outstanding thickness and all round consistency. Although he's not that far off looking at ease in an Amish community, so he shouldn't rest easy.

Kubba - perhaps the pioneer of the whole movement - had a whole other realm of growth before christmas, but two weeks spent in native Poland made him inexplicably reach for the trimmers. One word. Chicks.

Mehmet couldn't grow a beard if his life depended on it. But what he lacks in chin-fuzz he makes up for with this not at all dodgy comb-over. Go mem.

Jacob has got designer stubble down to a subtle art form, clearly in homage to his distant french roots. This being a man who has never had a wet shave in his life, with trimmers in hand he's faster than his shadow.

Sabba purposefully keeps a hold on his facial fuzz, with good reason. If he looks like a criminal now, imagine a little further down the line. Even just a few days unmonitored growth can lead to a morning of stop & search warrants on his ass. Nobody wants that kind of heat.

Virgil doesn't really have time for these trivialities. When he's not busy adding the finishing touches of raw muscle-mass to his biceps, he's on the phone to his mums back home in madrid, or he's trying to get a hold on his newfound clinical addiction to Branston pickle.

That's him dreaming about another hit right there.

I take back what i said about Mehmet. Jin could not grow a beard if his life depended on it. But when all's said and done he's got the fu manchu style absolutely licked, leaving us all trailing pathetically in his moustachio'd wake.

Last but not least Paul keeps his shit rolling on that grade one tip. Even if he wanted to go renegade he's have to keep it in check for fear of scaring the daylights out of his six year old kid. And yes, the man is as soave as he looks below.


More barbed entries as events warrant ya diggie.


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  2. Fogg here Georgey. It's on bitch....

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