Look Who's Laughing Now

This morning in Trafalgar Square i came across this cat looking pretty fucking far from okay in what can only be described as an embarrassingly shit parrot outfit made out of scraps of foam and cardboard. At first i was sure he must be on the back-end of some monumental bender from the weekend.

But then i see him rest a paper cup on the pavement, smooth down his getup, puff out his chest with the majesty of an Ancient Emperor surveying the breadth of his domain, and settling into a nonchalant Vitruvian man stance, proceed to do not very much whatsoever.


Was this joker really expecting to spend his day extorting cash from people by doing nothing more than dress up like a rubbish parrot in garb you can blatantly find in most well-stocked 7Elevens? It's not even a good bird outfit. I don't care how easily impressed Japanese tourists are, this kind of stunt would insult a toddler's intelligence. As a tourist if i saw this shit in Tokyo i'd be offended.

To make matters worse this guy clearly had a license for this shit. An ingeniously-orchestrated Met sting of the area was in full steam, and coppers were taking these street entertainers down to china-town. Some unfortunate lady in the corner in a wicked Snow White outfit replete with gloves and jewelry was getting rinsed for all she owned.

But not our friend in the parrot outfit. While this poor woman had her livelihood stripped away in a matter of cruel seconds, she had to look on as this chump added insult to injury by standing 4 feet away, basking in the morning sunlight, waiting for the dollar to roll in.

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