Remember this.

Leaving the supermarket this morning i stepped up to the bitchin' plate when i spied an elderly woman floundering curbside with double her body weight in shopping bags she'd just dropped clean onto her feet, completely anchoring her to the pavement.

Taking the weight of her shopping and waiting with her until i could hail a taxi, i then put the biddy in the back, gave the cabbie her address and topped that shit off with the smug double tap on the cab roof before it sped off.

There is no better way to atone for a year's worth of sins than having the words..

'you are a wonderfully kind young man, i know your mother must be proud'

.. ringing sweetly in your ears. I even resisted the urge to tell her to stop talking about my mother. And went home with the kind of spring in your step you can only get from some badman hydraulic suspension.

a  w h a t ?

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