Aim Higher

We’ve all been there. Sunday night is creeping in. It’s go hard or go home time. The eternal conundrum that makes mincemeat of those with not so sturdy souls. What the fuck to order from the Domino's-online menu. You’re about to go all out for the large cheese crust, when you get sidelined by a pop-down option peddling two mediums for the price of one and a chicken goujon platter replete with dip-selection thrown in. In these times of nationwide austerity you get sucked in against your will and before you know it you’ve been sledgehammered across the temple with an email from Domino's HQ saying your order has been accepted and is in the kitchen. Dazed and unsure as to what just really happened, you settle back onto the sofa and put your second pair of socks on.

The Domino's man arrives, pockets your £0.40 tip with furrowed brow, and you and your flatmate get balls-deep in melted cheese. The two medium pizzas hit the spot. Upon approaching the bin to discard of the receptacles you spy your laptop chilling with said Domino's menu still open, two mediums for the price of one pop-down long since dissipated into the ether.

And you see something that cleaves your world in two

That something the popdown had been obscuring. The Domino's Hotdog Stuffed Crust. Only available with a large. In what world could any medium pizza contend with that. At almost three times the price, the realisation that you would’ve handed over every single one of your vital organs just to be in the same room as one of those crusts washes over you. And the paradoxical emptiness of someone with an uncomfortably full stomach surges through your blackened heart. The night is over, you hurl some abuse at your flatmate about his mother and his sister, slam the door and hit the haystack.

That messed up mustard-laden bratwurst crust looks and in all probability would taste filthy, but you don't know that. All you can taste is the tang of defeat. And someone taking a pizza slicer to your soul. In the knowledge you've fallen short of the stars, that day a little of you dies.


Fitting then, that a man descending from the land of the pizza dropped a bomb back in the day with the exact same range of ballistics. This, from a man who pulled this out the bag before he turned 25.


The greatest danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting out aim too low, and achieving our mark.

Michelangelo Buonarotti 1475-1564 Greatest artist in human history, discuss


M-cat was onto something.

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